Devika Majumder: So what was your background? You were in engineering, you said?

Ankita Bagri: Yes. I came to RV College in Bangalore for my engineering in 2007. I was there for four years, and then I got absorbed into GE Healthcare, which was a bit funny because they didn’t let me do any bit of healthcare or biology. I was taking care of the factories. I was an industrial engineering pass out. I had to basically learn on the job, and it was one of the most fantastic experiences because I got absorbed into the leadership program. They rotated me across different manufacturing units and divisions of the company, and I got to work directly with the leadership. I got exposed to a lot of beautiful training in the US and China. We were traveling extensively, and every six months, I was working on different projects. I loved that thrill. I realized then that I loved speed, I loved working. I didn’t mind working even Saturdays and Sundays. Fresh out of college, there was so much freedom, travel, and so much responsibility. I loved the thrill of it.

Devika Majumder: Now, from that to transitioning to Montessori, how was that?

Ankita Bagri: I got married and had planned to continue with GE, but the office was two and a half hours away—one way. In Bangalore, you don’t do two and a half hours away. It would be more than four hours on the road. After being groomed for a leadership program, they couldn’t have given me a simplified role. I wanted something more flexible, something that allowed me to spend a little more time at home. I always had at the back of my head that whenever I quit, I’m going to do something of my own. I did my training to become an image consultant and a soft skills trainer. I did my train-the-trainer, I did my image consulting. That itself was a transformation for me—the way I presented myself, the way I spoke required me to network with so many people, and then finally go into training. I went back to the companies I worked with and trained their employees, which was interesting.

Devika Majumder: So these are you in a different light as well?

Ankita Bagri: In a different light, yes, because I was on the other side. As a freelancer, I felt very stagnant and really felt lost. I was also depressed for a while because I was working five days a month and earning a lot of money, but what about the other days? I’m somebody who needs consistency, I thrive on routine. I wanted to do something I could do every day. I can’t drag myself to do stuff. I have to be passionate, and if I’m not passionate about waking up and doing stuff, then I’m not going to do it. I tried working with my husband, who runs factories. I’m a factory person, but that didn’t work out either. Then my niece was born, and around that time, I heard the word Montessori. I was around people whose children were going to Montessori schools, and I just happened to pick up a book. That book changed my life.

Devika Majumder: Wonderful. What book was it?

Ankita Bagri: The book was The Secret of Childhood by Maria Montessori. I read that book in five days. Everything is underlined and highlighted. I still have the same copy. I could see everything written in that book come to life happening at home with my niece. I felt that the world is very unfair to children. We have our own drawers, our own stuff, everything, and we’re just protecting it so much from our children without even giving them their own corner to explore. Children are born into our lives; they have to adjust to our lives, and we’re not going to change anything about ourselves or our lives. This was the scenario back then. I said, “Okay, let’s follow this path and let’s try to make a difference.” I joined an institute where I became a Montessori educator. It was one year of zero social life, zero travel, very rigorous, requiring 90 to 92% attendance. I was super dedicated. I had stuff to do every day. I was loving the speed, the routine, the changes I was experiencing internally. It was a whole different thing. I became an educator, and I knew that I was at that point where I wanted to have babies but also wanted to experience working in a school. I decided to join a school that was one and a half hours away—not the best decision back then, but today I know it was one of the best because it was one of the finest Montessori schools in Bangalore. I got solid one year of experience there. I was pregnant with my 26 children there. I felt like everything was in place, and I was really ready. But throughout my pregnancy, I was undergoing internal turmoil. I was a little depressed because I thought I should have done all of this before and had my own school before I had my baby. I was lost, but I decided to be in the moment, have my baby first, take care of her, and then figure it out. I had hope. Then she was born. Three months later, COVID hit, and the world went online. That was a blessing in disguise for me. When she was five months old, I launched my online classes.

Devika Majumder: How do you balance being a parent and a content creator?

Ankita Bagri: There is a lot of balance required. It’s basically scheduling. That’s the only thing that works because content is on your phone—your office. You can just work more very easily. I’m conscious of saying that this is my time with my child, and there’s only so much work I’m going to do. The rest of the time is with her or with my husband. I constantly take phone breaks. I put the phone in the drawer because otherwise, I’m just going to be working all day. It’s about scheduling and really planning it. I have an Excel sheet for everything. I have a schedule for everything. I ensure that on a single day, I try to finish most of my shoots, so I’m not shooting every day. Stories, of course, have to go out every day, but most of my content is now very balanced. There was not much balance earlier, but now that work has picked up a lot, I feel if I take a break for two days, there will be repercussions because then there will be a lot more to do the other two days. Now it’s clear-cut plans, journaling, and clear-cut Excel sheets. These are things that have to happen daily. That’s the only way it works. It’s a lot more structured, a lot more routine.

Devika Majumder: What is one parenting tip that you swear by that you think every parent should know?

Ankita Bagri: I think saying “yes” more often can be a game-changer. I think we are stuck in a “no” loop with our children. How would you like it if someone was saying “no” to you all the time just because they can? I think just coming from a place of understanding, love, and empathy, and not control, is important. That’s very difficult because our parents had a lot of control. Parenting back then was very different. We were disciplined. But now, to be able to say, “What do I really need to fight about this? Can I just say yes?” or at least saying “yes for now” is helpful. I remember a Bengali saying: Bengali parents will just say “yes” to everything first, and then later they will say, “Okay, but this is not possible.” So first thing, “yes.” “Can we go out?” “Yes. But we can maybe do this today.” Saying “yes” more often can be a game-changer. You will really feel it. Of course, boundaries are important, but saying “no” is really counterproductive. If you can say “yes,” say “yes.” I really realize, “I love you too much to fight with you about this simple thing,” about bedtime or about books. “I love you too much for that. I also don’t want to fight about it.”

Devika Majumder: So what was the first video that you put up on Instagram?

Ankita Bagri: I don’t remember the first video, but I remember very clearly what my followers also remember very clearly: Aisha’s first birthday—a lockdown birthday. There was no way we could even connect with people. I did a 30-day birthday countdown for her. Every day there was an activity that I set up for her. There was a balloon that said “29 days to go,” “30 days to go,” “28 days to go.” Every day we took out that time to do something with her, and I think a lot of people have continued that with their children. It was like a ritual that I started. I still do it now, it’s not 30 days, but it could be four things that we are doing before her birthday. We haven’t done a single birthday party; we only do vacations. For the first five years, we’ve only done holidays with our family. I think the videos of that 30-day countdown people tell me about even now. “How did you do it?” I have absolutely no idea, but I did it. A lot happened during that journey. She started crawling, standing up, walking—it was a rapid phase of milestones. She also started talking.

Devika Majumder: What was that one video that made you think, “Okay, this is where now I can focus on this”?

Ankita Bagri: One video that very organically I shortened—I never thought it would get so much traction—was me just coming and pointing. It wasn’t even talking. It was a pointing video. Everyone was just pointing, and text would come. I did a video on boundaries that I have with other people. I live in a joint family, so boundaries that I have with everybody in general and for the sake of a better connection with my child. That really went viral—45 million. That one really got me 30,000 followers, but it also got a lot of backlash because I put stuff like, “If my child is crying, I prefer handling it rather than my in-laws handling it because they don’t have the tools or strategies; they will just distract the child. I like to handle it in my own way.” I received a lot of backlash, but a lot of people truly felt understood and seen because those are the same things that they go through. There were boundaries saying that I’m not okay if people come and just offer sugary treats to my child. I’m not okay if people are mean to my child. I’m going to ask her to walk away. I’m not going to force her to have relationships with those people. There were a couple of boundaries that I have, and I just put it out there. After a week, it just started blowing up, and that’s when I realized that content that makes people see a little bit of themselves in you can make a huge difference.

Devika Majumder: What is that one favorite activity that you do with your child?

Ankita Bagri: There are a lot of favorites, but one thing that Aisha really loves doing with me is building forts out of pillows and making a tent. She takes all the pillows in the house—I mean, like 15, 20 of them—and then she’s going to make a bed, and it’s going to be a camp, and then it’s going to be something else. We’ve also put a little disc swing at home, so we both climb on it, and we are singing together. It’s very wobbly and very scary because I think I’m going to fall, but she loves it, and it’s a lot of fun. Just open-ended play and unstructured downtime and doing whatever she wants to do—the one activity: “Mama, I want to do this.” “Yes, let’s do it.” Every day it changes, but pillow fights and just roughhousing—that is a lot of fun.